President: What the fuck. Why there is such a big balloon? Pentagon, go and check what it is.

美总统：娘希皮，怎么天上有一只这么大的气球，派军机侦查看看是什么玩意。

Pentagon: Mr. President, we checked and found it was a Chinese balloon.

美军方：报告总统阁下，经侦查，是一只中国气球。

President: Son of a bitch, shoot it down.

美总统：他娘的，把它打下来。

Pentagon: Mr. President, the ballon is of no danger to our security, but it would endanger our civilians if we shot it down.

美军方：报告总统，该气球没啥危险和威胁，打下来可能会伤及无辜。

President: Why not take the bait and play with the Chinese? Announce to the world that we are threatened by the Chinese spy balloon.

美总统：不如我们将计就计，通告世界我国受到中国间谍气球威胁。

Pentagon: Good idea. We are threatened by the Chinese spy balloon. Please comment.

美军方：好的。我国领空受中国间谍气球入侵核武库受中国间谍气球威胁，大家评评理啊。

US: China, your spy balloon is a big threat to our security. What can you say?

美国：中方，你们的间谍气球已严重威胁到我方安全，你们怎么看怎么办吧？

China: US，please wait, we dont have enough information to clarify.

中国：美方，将稍等，我们还待查清真相。

(China is holding a meeting to discuss how to respond.)

(中方开会讨论如何应对)

China: US, after investigation, we find it is a weather observation airship. It is totally for meteorological purposes, not a spy balloon at all.

中国：美方，我查实这是一架中国民用气象气球。不是间谍气球，

US: Interesting. How come it is now in our space?

美国：这有意思了。你们说说它是怎么跑到我国来的吧。

China: This civilian airship was blown to your country by the west wind. We are a developing country and dont have enough technology to control it. We are sorry for the inconvenience.

中国：这个民用飞行器是被告西风吹到贵国的。我们是一个不发达国家没有技术能力控制它的飞行。对引起的不便我们深表遗憾。

US: Hahaha! you take us as a three-year-old. We dont believe whatever you say.

美国：哈哈哈！你们把我们当三岁小孩了。我们不相信你们说的一切。

China: Be calm, buddy. We can talk and solve the problem peacefully.

中国：朋友，冷静点。我们可以谈嘛，和和气气解决这个问题。

US: No use talking. Well shoot it down no matter what.

美国：谈你个大爷的。我们一定要把它搞下来。

China：If you dont listen to us, youll bear all the consequences.

中国：如果你们不听劝，你们要承担一切后果。

US: We will never be threatened.

美国：我们怕个球。

(The US shot down the ballon on February 5.)

（美方在二月五日击落了中国气球。）

China: We strongly condemn that the US shot down a civilian airship. To attack a civilian object by using military force is against international laws.

中国：我方坚决谴责美方击落我民用设施。用武力对付民用设施有违国际法。

US: Hahaha! International laws! We are international laws!

美国：哈哈哈！国际法！我们就是国际法。

（完）